There was nothing unusual about my morning pre run routine.
I'm a little boring that way. Bowl of
Cheerios and a cup of coffee, visit the bathroom (thank you coffee), take a
couple hits off my various inhalers, set the timer for 20 minutes (giving the
inhaler time to work), greet my firm black roller and let it do its thing to
wake up my legs, calves, and back. From there it's the iPod, Garmin, fuel belt,
shoes, gang banger beanie, and so forth. Timer goes off and I'm ready to walk
out the front door. Today was well, just that.
On the docket was a slow 12 mile loop that I have done
before. The first 3 miles were without incident though I noticed the wind was
at my back so part of the loop would be into the wind. By mile 4 the wind was hitting me dead on and
I felt myself slow. No big deal, it's long slow run day. I'll note here that
the wind was in my face for the remaining
miles...Another half mile or so and I was feeling a little off but that
feeling can come and go as a runner regardless of your distance so I plugged
forward. Safeway is just beyond mile 7
and a regular pee stop, again, today was no different. I'm back on the road swinging past Fred Meyer
when stomach cramps hit me like a brick thrown at your gut. Holy shit, I could
barely run upright and I'm 5 miles from home.
Many a runner gets cramps and we simply hope at some point -
sooner than later - we slip out a little gas. No such luck, Mr. Fart did not
have my address apparently. My gait is now affected because I cannot stand tall
no matter how hard I try. 4 miles to home and I'm barely moving - the fetal
position sounds real good right now. I'm
now passing Lowes when my calves begin to cramp up. Yes, both of them. Between my stomach and my calves I can't seem
to run straight and look like a drunk runner.
I thought about stopping and walking but I knew there was an end result
that would come from those stomach cramps and I wanted to be home for that.
I could see Starbucks ahead and from there I was less than
two miles from home. The closer I got the more I knew I needed to stop and hit
the can. My fuel drink was ready to let loose and I had to stop. I walk through
the door of this very busy Starbuck and who arrives? Yes, Mr. Fart. He simply had a mind of his own and was quite
vocal as I made my way through the crowd to the bathroom. He continued to speak to whomever would listen
as I left and stepped onto the sidewalk to finish my journey.
The first couple steps assured me that my calves would
continue kick my butt the rest of the run. To my surprise however was the back
left side of my left knee. It too decided that it would deliver constant pain
for the next two miles. I'm sure this was due to how I was running for the past
3-4 miles as I have never had any trouble in the past. I made it home. That was 3 hours ago and I
have said hello to the john many times, currently have ice on my left knee, and
am sipping water.
A non runner might read this and say this is exactly why
they don't run and running is stupid.
That is fine as long as they swallow the donut first as it's impolite to
talk with one's mouth full. A runner
might read this and say, yup, had a day like that once myself, but the hundreds
of other days that are pure bliss make it all worthwhile. After purging my
thoughts through this blog I'd have to agree with the runner. Though I wouldn't
mind a donut....
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