Michael Bitz: Power Walker

Yes, you read that right, I am a power walker. Let’s be completely clear about this – I’m not a walker, not a fitness walker, I am a power walker. What’s the difference you ask? The difference my friends is that I am doing it, as such it must be power walking. After months of fine running I found myself on the floor for three days unable to stand, having been bitch slapped by my lower back. Weeks of doing nothing has turned into a couple weeks of evening power walking. I cover the distance of my old race friend, the 5k. Mentally it feels good to walk a race distance. I am learning a few things as I PW (that’s what we in the know call it) and thought I would share.

Walkers code of conduct. Very limited if it exists. As a runner you always yield the left as a runner comes up behind you. Walkers however tend to float all over the sidewalk. It’s like they all have inner ear problems. Lord help you if there are two of them. They don’t budge. I call out a mild mannered “coming through” and the wall of rump in front of me seems to close up before I can get through. The other night I thought I wasn’t going to make it. Half way through, the gap was closing fast. I turned sideways, sucking myself into the thinnest stick of a man I could and just cleared those cheeks of death before darkness engulfed the street. One step slower and there might have been a mangled mess of a man left on the sidewalk gasping for breath and praying for some sanitizer.

Talking. Zipping along a runner will often see another runner coming at them. Due to the speed of the runners, there is barely time to say hi - generally just time for a quick head nod as you pass each other. Walkers on the other hand come at you slowly. You look at them and for the next 5 minutes while you pass each other there is time to exchange recipes. It is an awkward time for me. I am friendly but I don’t want to talk to anyone (I am a power walker after all). So I try not to make eye contact but the harder I try the more my eyes want to, have to look at them. Our eyes meet and I give the runners head nod. Now for the next 30-45 seconds I don’t know what to do. So I just keep giving the head nod until they pass. I find that it you do this, they will pick up their pace to get past you as soon as possible.

To combat all of this I have taken to wearing thug attire. Aside from my jet black sweat/PJ pants, I wear a sweatshirt with a large hood and a skull cap pulled down to my eyebrows that also covers my ears completely. I push my lips together and stare straight ahead. My gait however doesn’t help. My physical therapist says my hips are tight so I find myself swinging my hips back and forth. Add to this that I don’t want to heal strike so I lift my quads higher than normal with each step. Now I look like a gay thug power walker. No one talks to me now though occasionally I think I get a wink.

Next week the verdict on my return to running will be in. Tuesday is the day. I hope for good news and I can begin to run again. I’ll be more careful this time. I’ll work my core, stretch, continue the exercises to keep my glutes strong and hips loose. Until then I will power walk my way forward. In fact I will be out there in the rain shortly knocking out another 5k. If you see me feel free to say hi. Outside I may look tough but inside I can’t wait to see you.

Running: MIA

Seems I'm taking another sabbatical from running.  Not by choice of course, though that would at least make me feel better - to have some level of control (real or not) always makes me feel better.  No, this year little issues have cropped up and the best medicine has been to lay off the running and sometimes the weight lifting too.  I look back through my running log and see gaps that translate to reduced fitness levels and an extra pound or two.  I don't need the log to tell me I've added a few pounds.  Clothes and mirrors speak loudly.  Wear lots of clothes and for heaven's sake, avoid the mirror.  There's nothing worse than seeing yourself naked when you feel heavy.  Your first thought is whoa, that dude needs to work out or suck it in.  Sadly you're already sucking it in....

When you can't run suddenly everyone's a runner.  Everyone's running.  Old people... young people...they are everywhere and they all look fast.  Yesterday I was walking and a mom and her infant son ran by.  "Oh he was running by six months" she yells as she flies by trying to keep up with him.  I would have answered back but there was a curb coming up and I needed to conserve my strength. 

Another little secret is that when I don't run I have a tendency  to get a little cranky.  Oh it's hardly noticeable I'm sure but it's there.  It's not helped however by the out of shape over eating television watching non exerciser who sees me moving a little slower and a little guarded and remarks "Yeah, that's why I don't run".  My inside voice mutters something about a lazy snack munching slob but my outside voice say nothing.  I simply smile and slide the box of donuts a little closer to his outstretched sausage fingers.

I'm closing in on getting back to it and I can't wait.  To reconnect with friends, run off stress, and simply enjoy "being out there" will be great.  It won't be long until you begin to say to yourself "What the F, is the only thing that guy can post on facebook is how far he ran today?  Yes my friends, that will be a good day....