Virgin Marathon Part I

I'm going to run a marathon.  Ok, I said it, it's out there now. Now it's law. Stating my intentions publicly has a way of adding a higher degree of accountability to the statement, or in this case, the event.  When I first shared that I was committed to completing a marathon, the more popular question flying back to me was simply "Why?".  It's a bit of a difficult question (as most easy questions can be).  My first response is that I've ran and competed in many events since my first 5k in 2006. I remember that 5K like it was yesterday.  I walked often....I ran often....I hated that I couldn't complete the distance without some walking.  Fact is most people don't know that it wasn't until my fourth race that I finally ran the entire distance without stopping.  3.1 miles felt like running to the moon.

Since then I've competed in many distances; 2 mile, 5k, 8k, 10k, 15k, half marathon, triathlon relays, duathlon, and a 24 hour 187 mile relay with 5 others.  In all, 52 races since 2006. The marathon distance was noticeably missing.  Plug the hole I say.  The reason could also be when asked about my running, folks always ask if I've run a marathon - like running a marathon is the one thing that makes you a runner.  I reply no I haven't and hear an oooooohh with a look on their face of disappointment and sadness.  Poor Mikey hasn't run a marathon. Oh well, maybe someday he'll be a runner.  Thank you my pork rind,  donut eating, chip munching,  candy sucking, runs only when the dinner bell rings judge. You actually make me feel bad. You shouldn't but you do. I train hard for my events and I don't like being discounted for not doing something, especially something on the magnitude of a marathon. Only one tenth of one percent of the population will run a marathon while 26.2% of the population were obese in 2012. Interesting that that obese percentage matches the number of miles in a marathon. Geez I sound angry.  I'm not of course, though re-reading my blog so far, I am a tad judgmental.  A tad. Running a marathon might also be because I like to challenge myself and as a 54 year old closing in on 55, I figure I best tackle this before I get too much older!  I plan on writing about my journey over a few blogs, the final of course to recap the race itself.  It's a bit of a diary that I can look back on and remember the journey, the ups and downs, the celebrations and support, and unfortunately some possible moments when I felt like I couldn't do it.

After making the decision to run, I made the next best decision - I called Sharon.  She has trained me through most distances and while her training plans suck fish butt, if you follow them and I mean follow them, you will perform.  You will dislike her often and praise her infrequently.  She knows her stuff and tailors the program to the individual. Looking backs over various training periods, I've thrown up, clutched my chest, nearly passed out, and learned to keep my inhaler close. She has however always gotten me to the finish line. I'm counting on that once again.

I admit I'm nervous about this journey because it will take me to distances I've never even entertained, push my running to more days a week that I've done in forever, and should I fail I hate to think of how it will affect me.  I'm now running Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday at 5:00am and my long run on Saturday.  The morning run required finding how to adjust my morning routine. Poop if you will. Knocking out  2 miles of your 4 mile run and getting "that feeling" is uncomfortable.  Do you try and run through it or jump off the treadmill and hurry back?  "Excuse me" you say to the person on the treadmill next to you, "would you watch my stuff, I have to ah...I ah...gotta poop". My goal is to avoid this...next time anyway.

I believe my body is getting used to the 4 day a week running plan and thus far the mileage has been within my experience range.  This week my weekday mileage jumps a little and Saturday become 14.  This is the point where I begin to move into uncharted territory. The point where I'll have to push myself to levels I once thought insane.  During many of these times I will think of you. So many of you have gone through personal trials that in comparison make the marathon seem easy.  You'll give me inspiration without knowing it. I thank you in advance for that and for reminding me to never give up.  I will be that one tenth of one percent and though I may run alone, I never will be...

Deja Vu

Rode my bike today.  Thank you for that thunderous applause - yes it was quite something.  I've never been much of a rider, but then again, I've never really given it much of a chance.  Lately however I've felt a renewed sense of fitness.  I'm part of this crazy knock out 20,000 pushups this year program - that likely deserves its own blog, or at least a sentence scratched out on the side of a bathroom stall "went at it hard, knocked it out, feeling pumped".  Ok, that may not be the best place for it.  My running is improving.  I'm actually doing all those stupid time intensive preventative exercises that no one does until they get injured.  At that moment every one of us thinks to ourselves "I should have been doing them all along".  Guilty.  Slap me in irons captain.  Better yet force me to do some squat jumps, donkey kicks, clam shells, and a host of other funked out exercises that make you look like a freak yet honestly can save you weeks if not months of rehab - not to mention avoiding the "I told you running was bad for you" look one gets from non-running non exercising gluten eating sugar pumping....sorry, got a bit carried away.  Anyhow, for the last couple weeks I'm getting in two 10 milers and a long run on Saturday.

My diet has also improved. I've since sent an apology letter to Hershey's, Ben & Jerry's, and Hostess. If you own stock in these companies please also accept my sincere apology.  Tip of the day - invest in spinach.  I love baby spinach - mostly because I can get the entire leaf in my mouth without having to cut it, fold it, jab it three times so it sits just right on my fork.  If you have spinach salad recipes, email me!

Sharon and I drove to the Centennial trail. Yes, we're quite green you know, driving an SUV so we can enjoy a ride in the clean crisp air. Don't judge me, I recycle. No sooner than we got on the bikes did we see the our partners in fitness just getting back from their ride. It was so good to see them, catch up, and have a few laughs. They are really good people.  But time is money or in this case miles, so we were off.  We did an out and back and the ride out held no surprises.  My quads began to burn and the bike seat as it does so often, played peak-a-boo with my ass.  I allow Sharon the luxury of drafting behind me on the way out. In turn I could draft behind her on the way back.  I could if however I was able to keep up with her.

Today was no different.  She was a good quarter of a mile ahead of me but luckily her and a couple other riders were stopped at a traffic signal which turned in our favor just as I pulled up.  I had momentum so quickly passed a young man and pedaled on.  Sharon quickly rode up and in moments was well ahead.  The young man also caught up as I heard an "on your left" as he flew past.  Off he went pedaling quickly until he came upon Sharon.  On my what happened then was a deja vu.  The guy starts riding past her, looks over, then slows down next to her.  Yes, off they rode into the sunset chatting back and forth as I fell further and further behind.  This happened in Chelan some time back and hard as I tried, I never caught up.  Today would be different my friends.  Today I had my renewed sense of fitness, Power bar drink, and I had successfully wrangled my ass free of the seat.  I was on a mission.  Head down and legs pumping hard I rode.  Today I would not be denied.  My God they are really moving.  How are they doing that?   I am now riding fast, my legs a blur, yelling "on your left" to every walker I passed.  Holy shit, I'm catching them.  I'm weaving around everyone shifting gears like a madman.  50 yards away, 30...10...I'm right behind them.  I slide to the left and yell out "on your left" as I pass them both.  Victory!  Or so I thought.  They were slowing down for the upcoming stop sign....gads.  What the heck, I had caught up and found that the young man was really much older and was riding from Canada to Mexico.  I tip my hat to him.  We chatted at the rest area and he told us about an energy drink that makes your lips buzz as soon as the liquid hits them.  I'm withholding the name to try it first just in case it's a real advantage :)  Next Saturday I'm racing with the Giant as part of a 2 person Triathlon relay team.  Can't wait for that and to once again see some of my good friends at the event.

Hell Run

I debated writing down my thoughts regarding today's run because I don't want to sound like I'm complaining.  However I am so frustrated that I'm hoping it works like a good therapist - lie on the couch and spill your most inner feelings, get up, write a check for $300 and go home feeling better.  If you know me you know that I am fiscally responsible thus this blog - cost $0.

There was nothing unusual about my morning pre run routine. I'm a little boring that way.  Bowl of Cheerios and a cup of coffee, visit the bathroom (thank you coffee), take a couple hits off my various inhalers, set the timer for 20 minutes (giving the inhaler time to work), greet my firm black roller and let it do its thing to wake up my legs, calves, and back. From there it's the iPod, Garmin, fuel belt, shoes, gang banger beanie, and so forth. Timer goes off and I'm ready to walk out the front door. Today was well, just that.

On the docket was a slow 12 mile loop that I have done before. The first 3 miles were without incident though I noticed the wind was at my back so part of the loop would be into the wind.  By mile 4 the wind was hitting me dead on and I felt myself slow. No big deal, it's long slow run day. I'll note here that the wind was in my face for the remaining  miles...Another half mile or so and I was feeling a little off but that feeling can come and go as a runner regardless of your distance so I plugged forward.  Safeway is just beyond mile 7 and a regular pee stop, again, today was no different.  I'm back on the road swinging past Fred Meyer when stomach cramps hit me like a brick thrown at your gut. Holy shit, I could barely run upright and I'm 5 miles from home.

Many a runner gets cramps and we simply hope at some point - sooner than later - we slip out a little gas. No such luck, Mr. Fart did not have my address apparently. My gait is now affected because I cannot stand tall no matter how hard I try. 4 miles to home and I'm barely moving - the fetal position sounds real good right now.  I'm now passing Lowes when my calves begin to cramp up. Yes, both of them.  Between my stomach and my calves I can't seem to run straight and look like a drunk runner.  I thought about stopping and walking but I knew there was an end result that would come from those stomach cramps and I wanted to be home for that.

I could see Starbucks ahead and from there I was less than two miles from home. The closer I got the more I knew I needed to stop and hit the can. My fuel drink was ready to let loose and I had to stop. I walk through the door of this very busy Starbuck and who arrives?  Yes, Mr. Fart.  He simply had a mind of his own and was quite vocal as I made my way through the crowd to the bathroom.  He continued to speak to whomever would listen as I left and stepped onto the sidewalk to finish my journey.

The first couple steps assured me that my calves would continue kick my butt the rest of the run. To my surprise however was the back left side of my left knee. It too decided that it would deliver constant pain for the next two miles. I'm sure this was due to how I was running for the past 3-4 miles as I have never had any trouble in the past.  I made it home. That was 3 hours ago and I have said hello to the john many times, currently have ice on my left knee, and am sipping water.

A non runner might read this and say this is exactly why they don't run and running is stupid.  That is fine as long as they swallow the donut first as it's impolite to talk with one's mouth full.  A runner might read this and say, yup, had a day like that once myself, but the hundreds of other days that are pure bliss make it all worthwhile. After purging my thoughts through this blog I'd have to agree with the runner. Though I wouldn't mind a donut....

Seattle Hot Chocolate 15K

Today was a good day. I ran a 15k. In fact what started out to be a “fun run” turned out to be something quite a bit more. It slowly became more about what I really had inside. I surprised myself today with what I found. I should step back and remind us all that 2012 wasn’t my best running season. For whatever reason I was always trying to make a comeback. Silly boy. I had my share of oddities that kept me from training my best and in turn, giving my best. In December I decided to step back and start over. My training consisted of one run a week – a long one on Saturday, lifting weights, and deciding that doing 20,000 pushups in 2013 would be a good idea. By the way, we now have 61 people pumping out those pushups. I’ve been eating better too, although stick a bag of chips in front of me and you won’t see my head for a good fifteen minutes. Then it pops out and my face is covered with Lays, Cheetoes, or whatever the bag used to contain. So today’s 15k was going to be just another slow long run.

I had the utmost pleasure of running with Sharon and Jessica. Me and two pretty girls – must be the pushups I’m doing. Regardless, I was a lucky man. Anyway, Sharon is recovering from a heart procedure six weeks ago and Jessica hasn’t knocked out this many miles in some time so I figured we’d be running abreast. Reality was however that the only time we were side by side was waiting for the race to start. That wonderful time in the corral when you wait for your group to be released. We were cold and shivering and the anticipation of the run lingered in front of us. I had then decided to rub my crotch because ever since surgery last year, it seems to bother me when I run and a little rub on the right appears to do the trick. This of course was the exact moment the girl in front of me decided to turn around. Ah yes, hello, oh yes the crotch thing…well you know…oh I guess you don’t. We’re were all laughing and since I don’t really look like, well, one of “those guys”, she smiled and turned away. Shortly after our corral was released and we were off.

Sharon, Jessica, and I ran together for the first mile and as the norm, they were soon inching their way ahead of me. More like by the yard then the inch. I found myself watching them run, ponytails swishing back and forth, seemingly to move ahead effortlessly. In a moment they were gone. Invisible yet out there in the crowd somewhere. Poor me, alone again. The runner inside wanted to catch up and find them but the realist knew it would never happen. I decided to stay the course, maintain my plan, my strategy.

My plan was simple, run as if it was my normal long slow run and at the turnaround point (mile 6), pick up the pace if I was feeling up to it. Well hells bells this course had some mighty hills – long mighty hills. I hadn’t planned on that. Pushing myself uphill I would stare at a orange construction cone until I met it and quickly shift my eyes to the next one. At one point the hill was huge and I decided not to look up until I had passed 30 cones. At 31 I looked up. Damn, the top of the hill was at least 100+ cones further. I chatted with a few folks and the time passed more quickly. Suddenly I see Sharon coming back down the hill on the other side. A quick wave and I felt energized. I yelled out “trade places with me” which my fellow hill runners around me thought was way funnier than it really was however it helped get us up and over. Soon I turned the corner at the six mile mark and honestly I was feeling fine. Air was coming easy and I was smiling. I kicked it up a notch and decided to put the hammer down until I crossed the finish line. My legs were heavy but they kept up with the rest of me – good thing or it would have been ugly. I crossed the finish line blowing my planned time out of the water, nearly 90 seconds a mile faster than I had been running. I found Sharon and Jessica both of whom had finished some time ago and already had their post run treats. Hugs and kisses all around. I don’t have the official times but the girls rocked this race and it was time to celebrate. While we stretched The Creeper came over and was chatting with Jessica. He was the Creeper because of the way he’d been following her around and you know, sometimes you just get that creepy vibe. Sharon picked up on it too and we decided it was time to blast and hit Starbucks for that post race drink. The curse of being pretty coupled with the dark side of man.

What Sharon achieved today was remarkable and after the race I saw something in her eyes I hadn’t seen in quite some time. I was happy to see it. Jessica blew me away with her pace and pure happiness she seemed to get from the race. I found something in me today that I thought had gone away forever. It wasn’t just that I found I still had speed; it was something inside me when I ran. A joy that grew mile after mile. I didn’t curse the hills and as I came in the final mile, I was smiling. I loved it out there. I also loved running with my friends. Thank you girls for making today a very special day.