Pineapple Classic

I ran with a pineapple today. It may sound like I've burned through all my friends and I'm so hard up that I'm down to running with fruit. Some say I've not been myself lately so it could be possible that I'm down to fruit and vegetables. Whens the last time fruit told you that you looked sick....that you don't seem happy....that you need to put on some weight....that it wondered where the "real" you went...?  Take it easy folks, I don't hear fruit talking to me, that'd be crazy. At least that's what the carrots told me.  I have heard these statements from friends and I appreciate each and every comment and the care and love behind their meaning. They see me off my game and care enough to point it out. That's a friend. Anybody can tell you what you want to hear. If you simply want nothing but good news all the time start hanging out in the produce aisle...baby carrots are nothing if not generous.

The 5k today was quite an event. It was not just a 5k, it was an obstacle course. Most of the Tri team joined forces to tackle this course and it was so great to see everyone. I missed those who couldn't attend.  You should have seen the get-ups we wore. There were grass skirts, hair in rollers, bathrobes, special shirts, funky sunglasses, faces painted, and when Steve sends some pictures I'll post them on my blog. I wore a bib of fake abs. A nice clean unblemished six pack of semi real looking flesh that turned heads. More than a couple women took a snapshot - ok, I goated them into it but who knows how many Facebook posts Mr Abs will show up on....I'll do my best to forget about the two guys who took pictures. I don't think they were thinking Facebook....

Our tribe took off at 11:00 and I guess in my mind we were all going to run together. Not so much. Pineapple fever took over and BAM! we were everywhere. Oh well, I still had my team and there wasn't an obstacle we couldn't overcome. Sharon started with the pineapple and if you ask me, was a bit too comfortable with it. She had it tucked under her arm like a fullback going in for a touchdown. I don't know why it was so funny to watch. A girl and her pineapple...Shane...Shane...come back Shane. No one will get that but me. Deborah and Kerrie were great. They ran side by side from start to finish - loved that!

We hit the first wall and by then mud had become the rule. Helping each other up and over the wall was a test of patience and mud tolerance. We all made it and soon I was carrying the pineapple. It was a compact little sucker. Next was a crawl on your belly under a net challenge. More mud. It was more of the same until we came to a section of the course where you had to jump over a ditch of mud (what else) or go around. We all jumped. Kerrie leaped, made it, then slide back in. Her foot got stuck. She pulled it out and her shoe was still there stuck in the mud. By now her sock was caked with mud. It was so funny and she was such a good sport.

Up ahead we saw the first pit stop. An aid station. Upon inspection we found it to be a beer vendor - free samples. Not wanting to be rude I had a small taste. Small taste. Now what happened next has nothing to do with the er, aid station. We hit a very muddy spot and as I was turning I lost my balance and when down. Smack down in the mud. Sure laugh. Done? How about now? Ok, it was funny. Except that my knee seemed to find the only rock out there. Tore my running 'tights' and cut my knee in two places. At the end of the race I did go to the medic tent so they could clean it out. They had to pick some dirt and crap out of it. Painful but I do have a low pain threshold. Had the 'nurses' been a bit on the hot side, I might have felt the need to lay down and rest a little. As that was not the case, I made my way out as quickly as possible - I didn't like the way they were eyeing my abs...

The end of the race had a 30 foot slip and slide. Oh sweet mother of pearl! As they dumped fresh water on it I dived belly first and coasted from one end to the other. How cool was that?!  I loved it!  Popped up and it was just a few yards to the finish. The rest of the gang was already there so we made our way to the free food and beer. The beer was good and the food ok. It didn't matter, we were done and had survived. As we snacked many a runner walked by in their costume. Four girls walked by, each with flashing red lights on their nipples (can you say nipples in a blog?). I admit I had to look at couple ten times. It's not something you see every day you know. My appreciation to everyone for holding a towel around me so I could strip naked and put on some fresh clothes. I know you all looked away...and tell me, why the snickers? Oooh!  Never mind...

I had fun today. It wasn't what I expected and started a little rocky. Most of that on me. I could blame it on getting over a chest cold or my nearly healed rolled ankle but that wouldn't be the whole truth. Truth is I still struggle with decisions made and the impact it's had on others. I don't mean to be a bad person. In fact I think I'm quite the opposite. For some reason it doesn't show or it just comes out wrong. I could say what the fuck and just be myself but I made a commitment to swear less in my blog which I have been quite successful up to this sentence. So I will simply say that I will be myself. I will get there. Don't give up on me. Keep helping. Mikey will be back. Until then keep texting me, don't take life too serious, never cheat your fitness, Run...don't jog.

PS. I'm still wearing the abs....