Lord Hill

My friend Steve has been running Lord Hill for some time now. Frankly when he talked about the place it really didn't sound all that great. Anything with "hill" in it should cause one to slightly tilt the head, raise an eyebrow, and very slowly nod your head up and down as if in agreement while your inside voice is saying "there's no way in hell I would ever do that."  That was me. That was then. Today I succumbed to peer pressure. Today I ran Lord Hill.

Those who know me are aware that I like things neat and tidy...organized...structured....predictable...and maybe I like to feel a bit in control (even if I'm not). When out of this element I've been called snarky. Snarky has two definitions and I know this because I just looked it up. Here's the first - irritable, short tempered. The second - a witty mannerism. There might be more to the second one that I am accidentally leaving out. Omission. Oops. I will tag myself with the second definition after a short trip to my happy place.  Irritable simply does not describe me. Stop it. I'm not listening. La la la la la la la la la la.....

We arrived at Lord Hill and I admit it looks pretty good from what I can see. Oh by the way, Dan joined us today - how cool was that. Though he would never brag about his abilities, he could....all day long!  Swimmer, runner, biker - excelling in every one. In case you're wondering, he's on the long bus. Anyway, after some short directions, tips on what to do if you see a cougar or a bear, looking at the drawing of a young man known to flash hikers (with a note to call 911 after belly laughing at what he believes to be something worthwhile to see when we would all wonder how long he'd been in the pool), we headed off into the forest.

This is where we start to split up due to pacing, duration of one's run, whether you walk, jog, run, or some combination of the three. Lately I start with a short 2-3 minute walk. By the time I started running the gang had all but disappeared.  The first mile was fairly crappy. Up hill and rocky - oh sweet, how fun! Once I got my thick head around the fact that this was going to be different, it would be hilly, the terrain unknown, I figured maybe I should stop being a little cry baby and suck it up like everyone else. Sometimes I don't know where my complaining comes from. If you do please call me. 1.800.didyouthinkIreallywantedyouropinion. Operators are standing by....

In no time I was running alone. Being unfamiliar with the trail, I did my best to take note of various landmarks - streams, logs, small dead animals laying face up, as well as key mental notes of the right and left hand turns. All the while staying with my strict diet of 3 minutes of walking for every 7 minutes of running. Every now and then I would see teammates running along, otherwise it was quiet. Lord Hill is a very dense forest. You cannot see your way out nor is one really sure what direction you are going - I am directionally impaired it appears. I got lost...

Frickin pooper. I turned at 30 minutes and started my way back. I was confident that I would make all the correct turns and in the beginning I did. Yes, I recall that tree stump. There's the stream. Easy peasy lemon squeezey baby. There's a fork up ahead. Which way did I come from?  Ah....I think the left looks correct. Yup, left. Apparently left was wrong. After an ugly hill and some distance I came upon a familiar site - a bench and table. Trouble was it was the same bench and table I had run past much earlier during my initial 30 minutes. Oops, not good. I turned around and ran back, flipped down a different trail and ran for a bit and hit another hill (hills were all over). I nearly had to crawl up this one and I was feeling better because it looked familiar. Cresting the top and running little further I found another familiar site - that same frickin bench and table. My third time past it. I was screwed. Five minutes earlier I had seen Mike running the opposite direction so I turned and ran fast to catch up. Made it down the hill and he was no where in sight.

Crap. I stopped and looked around and realized that I had no idea where I was and no idea which trail to take. I felt some panic swell up inside of me - recall the control and predictability I like - that was flushed down the toilet now. I called out a couple times in hope that a voice would spring out though the woods and I would have a direction to follow. Nothing. So I ran. Up hills, around bend after bend, searching for my exit. Eventually I came across the right trail which had the small rodent laying there feet up - it was a great feeling to know I was back on track. I might have bent down to kiss the little guy if it wasn't for all the flies and bugs crawling on it.

The sign at the corner told me .4 miles to the entrance. I was home free. Before I knew it I was popping out of the forest and saw the short bus gang waiting for me. I was wiped. Hills are great training and the forest is truly beautiful. Good call Steve. Next time I will run with a backpack complete with a compass, snack, waterproof matches, and a flare gun.  Or maybe it would be smarter to simply run with a buddy....